Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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