i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
