I only kidnapped one of them. chill
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize