There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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