Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
