Sry I called you an 8
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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