didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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