hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
