she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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