Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
