i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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