Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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