I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
