he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Let's get the cat blown out
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
