so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
