I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
