White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
