Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

my vag is so smooth its legendary

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(619): View more from California

There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool

(252): View more from North Carolina

Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five

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(917): View more from New York City

I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"

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(917): View more from New York City

and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.

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(360): View more from Washington

He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.

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(972): View more from Texas

Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt

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(786): View more from Florida

Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.

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