tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
