How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
