Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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