Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
