you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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