My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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