I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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