Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
