Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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