He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
