she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
