My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
