Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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