just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
