I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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