I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize