It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
