he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
