So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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