Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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