Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
