I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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