do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize