Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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