Plan B is the new Plan A
barbara walters just said penis...
you didnt know i had herpes?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
