he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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