You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize