Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
