Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
