This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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