WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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