Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
