I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
