He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
