i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
