Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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