think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
