Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
