a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
