He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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