What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
