My friends, they love my intelligence
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
How's work?
Spinning.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
