Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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