Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
