You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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