I cockslap morals
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
