I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
