So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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